Me & Reba

Flying home is always an adventure. This time, I got to fly with Dusty, which may I just say, is hysterical. He's like a little kid; staring out the window with his nosed pressed against it, and yanking on my arms saying, "I can see the turbines, Em! The turbines!"

Then, there was Reba. I am not making up her name.

Let me back up and say that while we went through security there was a lady they had taken aside who had a wrapped Christmas present that was apparently "full of liquid." I thought nothing of it, though she really was giving the TSA lady a hard time.

Fast forward to the plane and this old lady with red hair and a smoker's laugh. She plops down next to me with a bag that I know would not qualify as a sizable bag to carry-on and a purse that looks like she skinned a rattlesnake and proceeds to tell me the story of how TSA owes her $60 because she bought her son-in-law a bottle of Polo cologne that they would not let her take on the plane. (My inner monologue, "Oh no! It's her!")

Then things got interesting:
--Flight attendant #1 made her put her TOO LARGE bag in an overhead bin...all the way at the back of the plane. Reba was not happy.

--Then flight attendant #2 made her put her purse in an overhead bin for takeoff. This made Reba even more unhappy.

--Then the inflight service starts and even though it's only 12:30 pm, Reba wants a rum and Coke. The flight attendant tells her that she can pay with debit or credit. Reba makes it known to everyone in a 5 seat radius that her debit card is in the bag that they made her put at the back of the plane!!! She then turns to me and says, "Well, there's no way I'm tellin' 'em that I left my cell phone on!"

Have I mentioned I'm afraid of flying? This did not help matters.

During landing they, again, made her put her purse away and Reba protested, saying it was more trouble than it was worth. Now, it just so happened that the overhead bin where we were all seated (Dusty still studying cloud formations at this time) was malfunctioning. The flight attendants had to practically beat on it to get it shut the whole flight. And our landing was not smooth. And guess what happened to Reba's purse? The bin flies open, the purse crashes down and hits the man sitting across the aisle in the head causing the flight attendant to have to stand for the rest of the (choppy, choppy) landing to hold the compartment closed.

And Reba settles back into her chair with a contented chuckle, looks at the flight attendant and says, "See. Told you so."