The thing is, as much as I enjoy the students I don't feel like I get properly "fed." I'm like a frumpy mom of 8-15 teenagers, putting her own children's needs in front of her own--complete with iffy home-done haircut (Hello Bangs!) and clearance priced clothes. Ladies like that either end up in a padded room or on What Not To Wear.
Part of my conundrum is busyness on my behalf and poor time management skills. But another part of it is really a product of my desire to always be hands-on with the students and help Dusty as much as I can; my desire to serve along side Dusty and be open and available to the kids.
Here's a scenario: instead of, say, going to the women's small group Bible study on Sunday nights I make snacks for the youth and then clean up the kitchen while Dusty leads their study.
Here's another scenario: youth worker volunteers at our church are scarce at best so when it comes down to it, it's Dusty and me planning the trips, driving the vans (or dreading driving the vans as I'm wont to do!), doing the Bible lessons, answering the hard questions or whatever. I feel worn just a little thin.
Am I sounding too whiny? I don't think so. Because when it comes down to it, I know that I'm in a leadership position and ultimately I am responsible for my own spiritual well-being.
I guess it's just that being a youth minister's wife is different than I thought it would be in a lot of ways, but I never really expected this kind of dryness.
Who ministers to the ministers, you know?