Monday, September 29, 2008

If I Were...

If I were a smoker on a day like today I would have inhaled a pack and a half on my lunch.

If I were an alcoholic on a day like today I would have sidled up next to a bottle of Jack--forget the Coke-- right as I walked in the door.

If I were a compulsive buyer on a day like today I would have maxed out my credite card.

If I had a gambling problem on a day like today I would have hopped a plane to Vegas and let the dice fly.

If I had an obsessive complusion disorder on a day like today I would have come home and organized my bookshelf by author and genre, and my clothing by color. (Though if I were OCD those things would already have been done huh?)

As it stands I bought the only thing I could think of to comfort me:

Sadly while typing this blog I reazlied this makes me a something: a stress eater!

I'd like to thank the Maniacal Mother who makes my life hell on a daily basis, the corrupt healthcare system in America, and all the companies out there charging me monthly bills for their services... you just made my gain a pound or two.

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